Why amnio?

1st pregnancy

I was 2 months pregnant when we had our wedding reception in year 2003. No, it is not a shotgun  marriage. In fact, we were already registered the year before and had no intention of holding a formal wedding dinner. In the end, we decided to quell all the usual old-folks tales by holding a dinner just for the ’super-old-fashioned’ relatives. I was so excited about my first pregnancy that I started to make the big announcement a month after the dinner (baby was 3 months then). Everyone knew about it; families, relatives and friends. Since it was my first time, I always asked around on what to eat, what not to eat, what to do and what not to do. I was so paranoid at that time.

The pregnancy didn’t go on smoothly. I encountered on and off spotting the first two months. During my 4th month, when I went for my usual checkup, I noticed that Dr was taking quite a long time scanning my stomach. As if he was looking for something. He then sat down with us and started to draw something on a piece of paper. Unlike other doctors, we could actually understand what he scribbled on the paper. He told us he discovered something on the baby’s neck. There was a growth behind the baby’s neck which he suspected to be a cystic hygroma (basically a fluid-filled sac) and he suspected the baby had a genetic disorder called ‘Turner’s Syndrome’ and one of the signs is a cystic hygroma. He told us that normally for these type of cases, the baby will not survive beyond 18 weeks. Even if the baby survives, the chances of having severe disabilities are high. After we went out of Dr’s room, my tears started to roll down. I just couldn’t stop crying. Why must the baby suffer? *Sniff sniff……wipe my tears away*

There was nothing that we could do at that time. We just waited and waited. We searched through the net about Turner’s Syndrome to learn more about it. Good news is that cystic hygromas happen all the time and babies can have then removed after they are born. We needed to have an amnio done to see if it was Turner’s.

Don’t know if my gynae was old or he wanted an expert opinion but he called a Dr. Baskaran (who is based at GH KL) to follow him through the amnio. Apparently this Dr. Baskaran is very good at amnios. On the day itself, our gynae couldn’t get the needle into the cystic hygroma so Dr. Baskaran had to go it. He completed the amnio in the time it took our gynae to put on his gloves!

While waiting for the results, Dr told us that there were two options for us when the results come out. Wait and hope for the best or wait and hope for the worst. He told us to expect the latter. You can tell that he already knows that the baby will not make it and would prefer to let nature take its course and avoid terminating the pregnancy at all costs.

A week after the amnio and a week before the results were out, baby’s heartbeat stopped right on 18 weeks. On that day, a part of me died as well.  I had to be admitted to the hospital for surgery and since I was already in my 4th month, labour had to be induced.

I stayed in the hospital for 2 full days. Checked in early in the morning and left very late the next day. I couldn’t remember how many times Dr inserted medication to ripen my cervix. After a few times, I was so scared to see him. It became a painful experience for me everytime he swiped the membranes for the contractions to start. My bag broke the next day. I only had to push a couple of times to get the baby out. After the baby was out, hubby went to look at the baby. I didn’t. The baby was so small.

If all this didn’t happen, Brae wouldn’t be here or he would have a sister. That’s why I have amnios done for Brae and No. 2 and why I won’t tell anyone I am pregnant till the amnio results are out. You won’t believe the crap relatives spew out when they found out. Said that I didn’t eat well, that I don’t look after myself, blah….blah, blah. Hate them all. Hubby has their names written in his little black book for future reference!

Now all I have of our little 1st one are memories and a Polaroid shot from the ultrasound machine. Don’t know if I should have taken a look at baby.